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“Now, I saw in my dream, that just as they had ended their talk, they drew nigh to a very miry slough1, that was in the midst of the plain; and they, being heedless, did both fall suddenly into the bog2. The name of the slough was Despond.”—BUNYAN.
When Rosamond was quiet, and Lydgate had left her, hoping that she might soon sleep under the effect of an anodyne3, he went into the drawing-room to fetch a book which he had left there, meaning to spend the evening in his work-room, and he saw on the table Dorothea’s letter addressed to him. He had not ventured to ask Rosamond if Mrs. Casaubon had called, but the reading of this letter assured him of the fact, for Dorothea mentioned that it was to be carried by herself.
When Will Ladislaw came in a little later Lydgate met him with a surprise which made it clear that he had not been told of the earlier visit, and Will could not say, “Did not Mrs. Lydgate tell you that I came this morning?”
“Poor Rosamond is ill,” Lydgate added immediately on his greeting.
“Not seriously, I hope,” said Will.
“No—only a slight nervous shock—the effect of some agitation4. She has been overwrought lately. The truth is, Ladislaw, I am an unlucky devil. We have gone through several rounds of purgatory5 since you left, and I have lately got on to a worse ledge6 of it than ever. I suppose you are only just come down—you look rather battered—you have not been long enough in the town to hear anything?”
“I travelled all night and got to the White Hart at eight o’clock this morning. I have been shutting myself up and resting,” said Will, feeling himself a sneak7, but seeing no alternative to this evasion8.
And then he heard Lydgate’s account of the troubles which Rosamond had already depicted9 to him in her way. She had not mentioned the fact of Will’s name being connected with the public story—this detail not immediately affecting her—and he now heard it for the first time.
“I thought it better to tell you that your name is mixed up with the disclosures,” said Lydgate, who could understand better than most men how Ladislaw might be stung by the revelation. “You will be sure to hear it as soon as you turn out into the town. I suppose it is true that Raffles10spoke11 to you.”
“Yes,” said Will, sardonically12. “I shall be fortunate if gossip does not make me the most disreputable person in the whole affair. I should think the latest version must be, that I plotted with Raffles to murder Bulstrode, and ran away from Middlemarch for the purpose.”
He was thinking “Here is a new ring in the sound of my name to recommend it in her hearing; however—what does it signify now?”
But he said nothing of Bulstrode’s offer to him. Will was very open and careless about his personal affairs, but it was among the more exquisite13 touches in nature’s modelling of him that he had a delicate generosity14 which warned him into reticence15 here. He shrank from saying that he had rejected Bulstrode’s money, in the moment when he was learning that it was Lydgate’s misfortune to have accepted it.
Lydgate too was reticent16 in the midst of his confidence. He made no allusion17 to Rosamond’s feeling under their trouble, and of Dorothea he only said, “Mrs. Casaubon has been the one person to come forward and say that she had no belief in any of the suspicions against me.” Observing a change in Will’s face, he avoided any further mention of her, feeling himself too ignorant of their relation to each other not to fear that his words might have some hidden painful bearing on it. And it occurred to him that Dorothea was the real cause of the present visit to Middlemarch.
The two men were pitying each other, but it was only Will who guessed the extent of his companion’s trouble. When Lydgate spoke with desperate resignation of going to settle in London, and said with a faint smile, “We shall have you again, old fellow,” Will felt inexpressibly mournful, and said nothing. Rosamond had that morning entreated18 him to urge this step on Lydgate; and it seemed to him as if he were beholding19 in a magic panorama20 a future where he himself was sliding into that pleasureless yielding to the small solicitations of circumstance, which is a commoner history of perdition than any single momentous21 bargain.
We are on a perilous22margin23 when we begin to look passively at our future selves, and see our own figures led with dull consent into insipid24 misdoing and shabby achievement. Poor Lydgate was inwardly groaning25 on that margin, and Will was arriving at it. It seemed to him this evening as if the cruelty of his outburst to Rosamond had made an obligation for him, and he dreaded26 the obligation: he dreaded Lydgate’s unsuspecting good-will: he dreaded his own distaste for his spoiled life, which would leave him in motiveless27levity28.
单词标签: slough bog anodyne agitation purgatory ledge sneak evasion depicted raffles spoke sardonically exquisite generosity reticence reticent allusion entreated beholding panorama momentous perilous margin insipid groaning dreaded motiveless levity
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vi.蜕皮，脱落，抛弃；vt.使陷入泥沼；抛弃；n. 蜕下的皮（或壳）；绝境；[地理] 泥沼
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n.沼泽；室...陷入泥淖
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n.解除痛苦的东西，止痛剂
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n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动
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n.炼狱；苦难；adj.净化的，清洗的
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n.壁架，架状突出物；岩架，岩礁
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vt.潜行(隐藏,填石缝)；偷偷摸摸做；n.潜行；adj.暗中进行
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n.逃避，偷漏(税)
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描绘，描画( depict的过去式和过去分词 )； 描述
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n.抽彩售物( raffle的名词复数 )v.以抽彩方式售（物）( raffle的第三人称单数 )
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n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说
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12sardonically [sɑ:'dɒnɪklɪ] 第10级
adv.讽刺地，冷嘲地
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adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的
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14generosity [ˌdʒenəˈrɒsəti] 第8级
n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为
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n.沉默，含蓄
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adj.沉默寡言的；言不如意的
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n.暗示，间接提示
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恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 )
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v.看，注视( behold的现在分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟
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n.全景，全景画，全景摄影，全景照片[装置]
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adj.重要的，重大的
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adj.危险的，冒险的
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n.页边空白；差额；余地，余裕；边，边缘
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adj.无味的，枯燥乏味的，单调的
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adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式
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adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)
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27motiveless [ˈməutivlis] 第7级
adj.无动机的，无目的的
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n.轻率，轻浮，不稳定，多变
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