24-04-26 11:08发布于 新西兰 来自 iPhone 13 Pro
把@飞扬军事铁背心整理的以色列笑话翻译成了英文。有一些内容做了修改。
一名美国法官结束了一天的工作，回到办公室突然哈哈大笑起来。对面的同事疑惑的问：“有什么好笑的事情吗？”“是啊，我今天去了哥大，他们的学生给我讲了个好笑的笑话。”“什么笑话，给我也讲讲。”“你疯了？我刚刚以反犹罪名判了讲笑话的这家伙五年监禁！”
An American judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off. A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!" "Well, go ahead, tell me!" says the other judge. "Are you nuts?– I just gave someone five years for it because of antisemitism!”
一哥大学子在学校内行走，不慎落入道旁河中，高呼救命！两警察闻之，视若不见，仍边走边谈笑如旧。学生情急生智，随又高呼“打倒以色列”！两警察闻之大惊，遂急速跳入河中，将学生拖上岸来驱逐出校。
A student of Columbia University accidentally falls in river, he called for help but two officers from NYPD turned a blind eye to him. The student then yelled “down with Israel!”
The officers were panic and jumped straight into the water to grab the student onshore and evict him from the campus.
一名哥大学生的鹦鹉丢了。他在x上发表了一篇推文：“本人遗失鹦鹉一只，请好心人捡到后归还。另：我不支持它对以色列的看法。”
A Columbia University Student lost his talking parrot. He tweeted a post on X, saying “I declare that my pet parrot is missing. Please return it to me if anyone finds it. P.s. I officially disagree its comment on Israel.”
“假设你坐在哥大教室里，一名陌生人在你身边坐着并一言不发，你该如何做？”“立刻阻止并举报这种哈马斯行为。”
“Imagine you are in a Columbia Uni lecture room, and there is a man sits next to you and says nothing, what would you do?”
“Immediately stop him and tip-off this kind of Hamas behavior!”
一个犹太人碰到哥大正在举行支持以色列的演讲，于是悄悄混进群众里想要看看哥大有多少人支持以色列。这时旁边的学生拍了一下他的肩膀说：你疯了吗？怎么不鼓掌？想被FBI逮捕吗？
A Jewish man sneaked into a pro-Israel campaign and wanted to see how many of the students in Columbia Uni supports Israel. A student next to him slap his shoulder and said, “Are you nut? Why aren’t you applauding? You wanna be arrested by FBI?”
一个人因“反对犹太人和以色列”被捕，并被告上法庭，罪名是在哥大操场上散发反动传单。
法官问：“公诉人,你指控被告散发反动传单，可他在哥大操场上散发的明明是空白纸张。”
公诉人说：“谁都知道那上面该写什么！”
A man was arrested for spreading antisemitist and anti-Israel flyers in Columbia Uni. On court, the Judge mentioned to the Prosecutor that those flyers were actually blank.
“We all know what would be printed on those flyers!”The Prosecutor shouted.
一个很多年前从约旦河西岸搬到曼哈顿的老人看到一张照片就说像自己死去的外甥。别人训斥她：瞎说什么，这是尊敬的内塔尼亚胡先生。老太：他是干什么的？ 答：他赶跑了哈马斯恐怖分子。老太急切地问：那他能不能把西岸的犹太人也赶跑啊？
An old woman who moved to Manhattan from the West Bank many years ago, pointed to a photo and said the man in the photo looks like her dead nephew. “Bullshit, this is honorable Prime Minister Netanyahu!” Said another man.
“What does he do?” The old woman asked.
“He drove away all of the Hamas terrorists.”
The old woman asked hopefully, “Then, can he drives away all of the Jewish terrorists from the West Bank too?”
一位学生在哥大操场上抱怨道：“这种政府真差劲儿！”结果被一位FBI听到而遭逮捕。这个学生辩解说：“我都根本没讲美国政府，你怎么可以随便逮捕我呢？”“你少骗人，”FBI咆哮道，“我有二十多年工作经验了，虽然你没说美国政府，但美国之外哪一个政府差劲我会不知道吗？”
A student in Columbia Uni complained, “damn government!” He was arrested by FBI because of this. He then argued, “you can’t do this to me. I didn’t mention it is the American government.”
“Shut up!” The FBI yelled, “you think I don’t know what the damn government you said is referred to?”
以色列邮政部门发行历届领导人纪念邮票， 发行没1个月，以色列邮政部门宣布紧急停止使用该邮票。理由是：寄信人不知道往哪面吐唾沫。
The American Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of Prime Minister Netanyahu as an example of the loyal support to the Israeli government. But the stamps had to be recalled not long after the release. The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.
一个以色列步兵班给加沙的民房安装炸药进行爆破，但是被友军一炮打爆，死伤遍地，侥幸逃过一劫的士兵气得在加沙的大街上大骂：“内塔尼亚胡这个弱智都派了什么人过来~”结果被判刑22年。2年是因为：辱骂以色列领导人，20年是因为：泄露国家机密。
A Columbia Uni student called Netanyahu a “lunatic mass murder”. He was sentenced for 122 years imprisonment. 2 years for insulting Israeli Prime Minister. 20 years for divulging the top classified mental health condition of the Israeli Prime Minister. 100 years for leaking out the American and Israeli secret plan to Palestinian people.
内塔尼亚胡对舒默（纽约州联邦参议员）说：“我知道你在传播我的笑话，这很无礼。” “为什么？” “因为我是爱好和平的犹太人，而且我是以色列总理。” “天地良心，我没和任何人讲过这个笑话。”
Netanyahu met American Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and said, "I know you spread jokes about me. It's impertinent."
"Why?"
"I am a Peace-loving person and Great Prime Minister of the Israeli people after all."
"No, I swear that I've not told anybody this joke."
哪里翻译的不到位请指教。谢谢大家
一名美国法官结束了一天的工作，回到办公室突然哈哈大笑起来。对面的同事疑惑的问：“有什么好笑的事情吗？”“是啊，我今天去了哥大，他们的学生给我讲了个好笑的笑话。”“什么笑话，给我也讲讲。”“你疯了？我刚刚以反犹罪名判了讲笑话的这家伙五年监禁！”
An American judge walks out of his chambers laughing his head off. A colleague approaches him and asks why he is laughing. "I just heard the funniest joke in the world!" "Well, go ahead, tell me!" says the other judge. "Are you nuts?– I just gave someone five years for it because of antisemitism!”
一哥大学子在学校内行走，不慎落入道旁河中，高呼救命！两警察闻之，视若不见，仍边走边谈笑如旧。学生情急生智，随又高呼“打倒以色列”！两警察闻之大惊，遂急速跳入河中，将学生拖上岸来驱逐出校。
A student of Columbia University accidentally falls in river, he called for help but two officers from NYPD turned a blind eye to him. The student then yelled “down with Israel!”
The officers were panic and jumped straight into the water to grab the student onshore and evict him from the campus.
一名哥大学生的鹦鹉丢了。他在x上发表了一篇推文：“本人遗失鹦鹉一只，请好心人捡到后归还。另：我不支持它对以色列的看法。”
A Columbia University Student lost his talking parrot. He tweeted a post on X, saying “I declare that my pet parrot is missing. Please return it to me if anyone finds it. P.s. I officially disagree its comment on Israel.”
“假设你坐在哥大教室里，一名陌生人在你身边坐着并一言不发，你该如何做？”“立刻阻止并举报这种哈马斯行为。”
“Imagine you are in a Columbia Uni lecture room, and there is a man sits next to you and says nothing, what would you do?”
“Immediately stop him and tip-off this kind of Hamas behavior!”
一个犹太人碰到哥大正在举行支持以色列的演讲，于是悄悄混进群众里想要看看哥大有多少人支持以色列。这时旁边的学生拍了一下他的肩膀说：你疯了吗？怎么不鼓掌？想被FBI逮捕吗？
A Jewish man sneaked into a pro-Israel campaign and wanted to see how many of the students in Columbia Uni supports Israel. A student next to him slap his shoulder and said, “Are you nut? Why aren’t you applauding? You wanna be arrested by FBI?”
一个人因“反对犹太人和以色列”被捕，并被告上法庭，罪名是在哥大操场上散发反动传单。
法官问：“公诉人,你指控被告散发反动传单，可他在哥大操场上散发的明明是空白纸张。”
公诉人说：“谁都知道那上面该写什么！”
A man was arrested for spreading antisemitist and anti-Israel flyers in Columbia Uni. On court, the Judge mentioned to the Prosecutor that those flyers were actually blank.
“We all know what would be printed on those flyers!”The Prosecutor shouted.
一个很多年前从约旦河西岸搬到曼哈顿的老人看到一张照片就说像自己死去的外甥。别人训斥她：瞎说什么，这是尊敬的内塔尼亚胡先生。老太：他是干什么的？ 答：他赶跑了哈马斯恐怖分子。老太急切地问：那他能不能把西岸的犹太人也赶跑啊？
An old woman who moved to Manhattan from the West Bank many years ago, pointed to a photo and said the man in the photo looks like her dead nephew. “Bullshit, this is honorable Prime Minister Netanyahu!” Said another man.
“What does he do?” The old woman asked.
“He drove away all of the Hamas terrorists.”
The old woman asked hopefully, “Then, can he drives away all of the Jewish terrorists from the West Bank too?”
一位学生在哥大操场上抱怨道：“这种政府真差劲儿！”结果被一位FBI听到而遭逮捕。这个学生辩解说：“我都根本没讲美国政府，你怎么可以随便逮捕我呢？”“你少骗人，”FBI咆哮道，“我有二十多年工作经验了，虽然你没说美国政府，但美国之外哪一个政府差劲我会不知道吗？”
A student in Columbia Uni complained, “damn government!” He was arrested by FBI because of this. He then argued, “you can’t do this to me. I didn’t mention it is the American government.”
“Shut up!” The FBI yelled, “you think I don’t know what the damn government you said is referred to?”
以色列邮政部门发行历届领导人纪念邮票， 发行没1个月，以色列邮政部门宣布紧急停止使用该邮票。理由是：寄信人不知道往哪面吐唾沫。
The American Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of Prime Minister Netanyahu as an example of the loyal support to the Israeli government. But the stamps had to be recalled not long after the release. The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.
一个以色列步兵班给加沙的民房安装炸药进行爆破，但是被友军一炮打爆，死伤遍地，侥幸逃过一劫的士兵气得在加沙的大街上大骂：“内塔尼亚胡这个弱智都派了什么人过来~”结果被判刑22年。2年是因为：辱骂以色列领导人，20年是因为：泄露国家机密。
A Columbia Uni student called Netanyahu a “lunatic mass murder”. He was sentenced for 122 years imprisonment. 2 years for insulting Israeli Prime Minister. 20 years for divulging the top classified mental health condition of the Israeli Prime Minister. 100 years for leaking out the American and Israeli secret plan to Palestinian people.
内塔尼亚胡对舒默（纽约州联邦参议员）说：“我知道你在传播我的笑话，这很无礼。” “为什么？” “因为我是爱好和平的犹太人，而且我是以色列总理。” “天地良心，我没和任何人讲过这个笑话。”
Netanyahu met American Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and said, "I know you spread jokes about me. It's impertinent."
"Why?"
"I am a Peace-loving person and Great Prime Minister of the Israeli people after all."
"No, I swear that I've not told anybody this joke."
哪里翻译的不到位请指教。谢谢大家
