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同步字幕下载[点击右键另存为][00:00.00]One way to build character is to admit your mistakes.
[00:02.18]品质培养的途径之一是承认错误。
[00:04.36]Character is revealed in how we handle things that go wrong.
[00:06.19]品质体现在我们如何去处理做错的事情上。
[00:08.03]Years ago I had to choose someone to organize a huge meeting.
[00:10.13]几年前，我需要一个人去组织一次大型的会议。
[00:12.24]I gave an untested employee a chance,and he bombed it big time.
[00:14.71]我把任务交给一位没有接受过考验的职员，他花了很长的时间才组织了这次会议。
[00:17.17]"It was all my fault,"he told me.
[00:18.36]“这完全是我的错，”他告诉我说。
[00:19.55]"but if you give me another chance,you have no idea how far I'll go to make the next one succeed."
[00:22.41]“但如果你再给我一次机会，我会很快取得成功。”
[00:25.27]He displayed such courage in admitting his failure that I did give him another chance.
[00:27.63]他勇敢地承认了自己的失败，我给了他第二次机会。
[00:29.99]And I've never regretted it.
[00:31.07]我从不后悔我做出了这个决定。
[00:32.15]He performed do superbly that my estimation of his character was higher than if he's done it right the first time.
[00:35.77]结果他出色地完成了这次任务，使他在我心目中的地位得到很大的提高，即使他第一次就做对了也不会有这么高。
[00:39.38]The best opportunities to build character,however,are within our families,where we are constantly tested and most vulnerable to lapses.
[00:43.29]然而培养品质的最好地方是在家里。在家里我们可以不断得到考验，极小的错误都会受到责备。
[00:47.20]True character begins at home.
[00:48.51]真正好的品质是从家里开始培养的。
[00:49.82]Often we sense that we can get away with things around those who know us best,who will love us regardless of our conduct.
[00:53.68]我们常常觉得我们可以从最了解自己的人那里得到谅解。不管我们做什么，他们都不在乎，都会依然爱我们。
[00:57.53]This can end up subverting our character and our relationships.
[00:59.36]这将导致我们的品质恶化及关系的僵化。
[01:01.20]How often have we heard of someone who is a gem of an employee but treats his or her spouse like a piece of the woodwork?
[01:04.55]我们常听说某人很受职员的爱戴，但对待自己的爱人时则表现冷淡。
[01:07.90]Perhaps even more common is the following scenario;At one seminar,
[01:10.22]我们经常碰到下面的一幕：有一次在研讨会上，
[01:12.54]after I've spoken on the importance of demonstrating character within the family,a man came up and said,
[01:15.47]我讲完品质的示范在家庭中的重要作用之后，有人走过来说：
[01:18.41]"I like what you're saying,but my wife and I just don't have the same feelings for each other that we used to.
[01:21.16]“我非常同意你的观点，但妻子却与我的想法不同，
[01:23.92]I guess we don't love each other anymore.What can I do?
[01:25.73]我想我们不再彼此相爱，我该怎么办呢？”
[01:27.55]Love her,I replied.
[01:28.63]“去爱她，”我答道。
[01:29.71]He looked puzzled.How do you love when you don't feel love?
[01:32.07]他迷惑地看着我：“当你对她没感情时，你该如何去爱呢？”
[01:34.43]"My friend,"I responded,"Love is a verb,
[01:36.35]“朋友，”我说，“爱是个动词，
[01:38.28]The feeling of love in the fruit of love.So love your wife.
[01:40.73]爱会产生感情，去爱你的妻子吧，
[01:43.18]You did it once,you can do it again.Listen.Emphasize.Appreciate.
[01:46.74]以前你爱过她，现在你可以再爱她一次，聆听、重视、欣赏。
[01:50.30]It's your choice.Are you willing to do that?
[01:52.16]选择在你手中，你想不想去爱呢？”
[01:54.01]Of course,I was asking this man if he was willing to search within himself for the character required to make his marriage work.
[01:57.86]当然，我问他是否愿意培养自身的品质去维持他们的婚姻。
[02:01.72]All our relationships follow the contours of life;they have ups and downs.
[02:04.43]人与人之间的关系受到生活的影响，也会有起有落。
[02:07.15]This is why our families provide a critical measure of our character and the opportunity,again and again,to nurture.
[02:10.86]这就是为什么在家里可以看出一个人的性格的原因，这也是使我们的品质得以升华。
[02:14.57]What became of the bank president who was involved sexually with an employee?
[02:17.41]当这位银行总裁与职员发生暧昧关系后他的态度如何呢？
[02:20.26]When I confided to him what I knew of his affair and the effect it was having on his staff,he ran his fingers through his hair.
[02:24.09]我告诉他我知道那事及其给全体职员带来的恶劣影响，他搔搔头发，
[02:27.92]"I don't know where to begin."he said.
[02:29.24]“现在我该怎么办？”他说。
[02:30.55]Is it over?
[02:31.42]“你是否还想继续？”
[02:32.28]He looked me squarely in the eye."Yes,Absolutely."
[02:34.60]他盯着我说：“绝对不会。”
[02:36.92]Then begin by talking with your wife.I answered.
[02:38.53]“那首先向你妻子说明白。”我答道。
[02:40.13]He told his wife,who forgave him.
[02:41.37]他把事情告诉妻子，妻子也原谅了他。
[02:42.61]Then he called a meeting of his staff and addressed their morale problem.
[02:44.56]然后他召开了一次职工大会说明士气低落的原因。
[02:46.50]I have found the cause of the problem.he said.
[02:47.92]我找到了问题的原因所在，他说。
[02:49.34]It is me.I am asking you to give me another chance.
[02:51.47]那是我的过错，我请求你们的原谅。
[02:53.59]It took time,but eventually employee morale-a sense of openness,optimism and trust improved.
[02:57.34]要改变是要一定时间，但最终职员的士气——一种坦诚、乐观、信任的精神——提高了，
[03:01.08]In the end,however,the executive was doing him_self the greatest favor,
[03:03.62]最后受益的还是他自己，
[03:06.16]He was finding his own path to character.
[03:07.49]他终于找回了自我。