Tip:点击数字可快速查看单词解释
Now is there civil war within the soul:
Resolve is thrust from off the sacred throne
By clamorous1 Needs, and Pride the grand-vizier
Makes humble2 compact, plays the supple3 part
Of envoy4 and deft-tongued apologist
For hungry rebels.
Happily Lydgate had ended by losing in the billiard-room, and brought away no encouragement to make a raid on luck. On the contrary, he felt unmixed disgust with himself the next day when he had to pay four or five pounds over and above his gains, and he carried about with him a most unpleasant vision of the figure he had made, not only rubbing elbows with the men at the Green Dragon but behaving just as they did. A philosopher fallen to betting is hardly distinguishable from a Philistine5 under the same circumstances: the difference will chiefly be found in his subsequent reflections, and Lydgate chewed a very disagreeable cud in that way. His reason told him how the affair might have been magnified into ruin by a slight change of scenery—if it had been a gambling-house that he had turned into, where chance could be clutched with both hands instead of being picked up with thumb and fore-finger. Nevertheless, though reason strangled the desire to gamble, there remained the feeling that, with an assurance of luck to the needful amount, he would have liked to gamble, rather than take the alternative which was beginning to urge itself as inevitable6.
That alternative was to apply to Mr. Bulstrode. Lydgate had so many times boasted both to himself and others that he was totally independent of Bulstrode, to whose plans he had lent himself solely7 because they enabled him to carry out his own ideas of professional work and public benefit—he had so constantly in their personal intercourse8 had his pride sustained by the sense that he was making a good social use of this predominating banker, whose opinions he thought contemptible9 and whose motives11 often seemed to him an absurd mixture of contradictory12 impressions—that he had been creating for himself strong ideal obstacles to the proffering13 of any considerable request to him on his own account.
Still, early in March his affairs were at that pass in which men begin to say that their oaths were delivered in ignorance, and to perceive that the act which they had called impossible to them is becoming manifestly possible. With Dover’s ugly security soon to be put in force, with the proceeds of his practice immediately absorbed in paying back debts, and with the chance, if the worst were known, of daily supplies being refused on credit, above all with the vision of Rosamond’s hopeless discontent continually haunting him, Lydgate had begun to see that he should inevitably14 bend himself to ask help from somebody or other. At first he had considered whether he should write to Mr. Vincy; but on questioning Rosamond he found that, as he had suspected, she had already applied15 twice to her father, the last time being since the disappointment from Sir Godwin; and papa had said that Lydgate must look out for himself. “Papa said he had come, with one bad year after another, to trade more and more on borrowed capital, and had had to give up many indulgences; he could not spare a single hundred from the charges of his family. He said, let Lydgate ask Bulstrode: they have always been hand and glove.”
Indeed, Lydgate himself had come to the conclusion that if he must end by asking for a free loan, his relations with Bulstrode, more at least than with any other man, might take the shape of a claim which was not purely16 personal. Bulstrode had indirectly17 helped to cause the failure of his practice, and had also been highly gratified by getting a medical partner in his plans:—but who among us ever reduced himself to the sort of dependence18 in which Lydgate now stood, without trying to believe that he had claims which diminished the humiliation19 of asking? It was true that of late there had seemed to be a new languor20 of interest in Bulstrode about the Hospital; but his health had got worse, and showed signs of a deep-seated nervous affection. In other respects he did not appear to be changed: he had always been highly polite, but Lydgate had observed in him from the first a marked coldness about his marriage and other private circumstances, a coldness which he had hitherto preferred to any warmth of familiarity between them. He deferred21 the intention from day to day, his habit of acting22 on his conclusions being made infirm by his repugnance23 to every possible conclusion and its consequent act. He saw Mr. Bulstrode often, but he did not try to use any occasion for his private purpose. At one moment he thought, “I will write a letter: I prefer that to any circuitous24 talk;” at another he thought, “No; if I were talking to him, I could make a retreat before any signs of disinclination.”
Still the days passed and no letter was written, no special interview sought. In his shrinking from the humiliation of a dependent attitude towards Bulstrode, he began to familiarize his imagination with another step even more unlike his remembered self. He began spontaneously to consider whether it would be possible to carry out that puerile25 notion of Rosamond’s which had often made him angry, namely, that they should quit Middlemarch without seeing anything beyond that preface. The question came—“Would any man buy the practice of me even now, for as little as it is worth? Then the sale might happen as a necessary preparation for going away.”
But against his taking this step, which he still felt to be a contemptible relinquishment26 of present work, a guilty turning aside from what was a real and might be a widening channel for worthy27 activity, to start again without any justified28 destination, there was this obstacle, that the purchaser, if procurable29 at all, might not be quickly forthcoming. And afterwards? Rosamond in a poor lodging30, though in the largest city or most distant town, would not find the life that could save her from gloom, and save him from the reproach of having plunged31 her into it. For when a man is at the foot of the hill in his fortunes, he may stay a long while there in spite of professional accomplishment32. In the British climate there is no incompatibility33 between scientific insight and furnished lodgings34: the incompatibility is chiefly between scientific ambition and a wife who objects to that kind of residence.
But in the midst of his hesitation35, opportunity came to decide him. A note from Mr. Bulstrode requested Lydgate to call on him at the Bank. A hypochondriacal tendency had shown itself in the banker’s constitution of late; and a lack of sleep, which was really only a slight exaggeration of an habitual36 dyspeptic symptom, had been dwelt on by him as a sign of threatening insanity37. He wanted to consult Lydgate without delay on that particular morning, although he had nothing to tell beyond what he had told before. He listened eagerly to what Lydgate had to say in dissipation of his fears, though this too was only repetition; and this moment in which Bulstrode was receiving a medical opinion with a sense of comfort, seemed to make the communication of a personal need to him easier than it had been in Lydgate’s contemplation beforehand. He had been insisting that it would be well for Mr. Bulstrode to relax his attention to business.
“One sees how any mental strain, however slight, may affect a delicate frame,” said Lydgate at that stage of the consultation38 when the remarks tend to pass from the personal to the general, “by the deep stamp which anxiety will make for a time even on the young and vigorous. I am naturally very strong; yet I have been thoroughly39 shaken lately by an accumulation of trouble.”
“I presume that a constitution in the susceptible40 state in which mine at present is, would be especially liable to fall a victim to cholera41, if it visited our district. And since its appearance near London, we may well besiege42 the Mercy-seat for our protection,” said Mr. Bulstrode, not intending to evade43 Lydgate’s allusion44, but really preoccupied45 with alarms about himself.
“You have at all events taken your share in using good practical precautions for the town, and that is the best mode of asking for protection,” said Lydgate, with a strong distaste for the broken metaphor47 and bad logic48 of the banker’s religion, somewhat increased by the apparent deafness of his sympathy. But his mind had taken up its long-prepared movement towards getting help, and was not yet arrested. He added, “The town has done well in the way of cleansing49, and finding appliances; and I think that if the cholera should come, even our enemies will admit that the arrangements in the Hospital are a public good.”
“Truly,” said Mr. Bulstrode, with some coldness. “With regard to what you say, Mr. Lydgate, about the relaxation50 of my mental labor, I have for some time been entertaining a purpose to that effect—a purpose of a very decided51 character. I contemplate52 at least a temporary withdrawal53 from the management of much business, whether benevolent54 or commercial. Also I think of changing my residence for a time: probably I shall close or let ‘The Shrubs,’ and take some place near the coast—under advice of course as to salubrity. That would be a measure which you would recommend?”
“Oh yes,” said Lydgate, falling backward in his chair, with ill-repressed impatience55 under the banker’s pale earnest eyes and intense preoccupation with himself.
“I have for some time felt that I should open this subject with you in relation to our Hospital,” continued Bulstrode. “Under the circumstances I have indicated, of course I must cease to have any personal share in the management, and it is contrary to my views of responsibility to continue a large application of means to an institution which I cannot watch over and to some extent regulate. I shall therefore, in case of my ultimate decision to leave Middlemarch, consider that I withdraw other support to the New Hospital than that which will subsist56 in the fact that I chiefly supplied the expenses of building it, and have contributed further large sums to its successful working.”
Lydgate’s thought, when Bulstrode paused according to his wont57, was, “He has perhaps been losing a good deal of money.” This was the most plausible58 explanation of a speech which had caused rather a startling change in his expectations. He said in reply—
“The loss to the Hospital can hardly be made up, I fear.”
“Hardly,” returned Bulstrode, in the same deliberate, silvery tone; “except by some changes of plan. The only person who may be certainly counted on as willing to increase her contributions is Mrs. Casaubon. I have had an interview with her on the subject, and I have pointed59 out to her, as I am about to do to you, that it will be desirable to win a more general support to the New Hospital by a change of system.” Another pause, but Lydgate did not speak.
“The change I mean is an amalgamation60 with the Infirmary, so that the New Hospital shall be regarded as a special addition to the elder institution, having the same directing board. It will be necessary, also, that the medical management of the two shall be combined. In this way any difficulty as to the adequate maintenance of our new establishment will be removed; the benevolent interests of the town will cease to be divided.”
Mr. Bulstrode had lowered his eyes from Lydgate’s face to the buttons of his coat as he again paused.
“No doubt that is a good device as to ways and means,” said Lydgate, with an edge of irony61 in his tone. “But I can’t be expected to rejoice in it at once, since one of the first results will be that the other medical men will upset or interrupt my methods, if it were only because they are mine.”
“I myself, as you know, Mr. Lydgate, highly valued the opportunity of new and independent procedure which you have diligently62 employed: the original plan, I confess, was one which I had much at heart, under submission63 to the Divine Will. But since providential indications demand a renunciation from me, I renounce64.”
Bulstrode showed a rather exasperating65 ability in this conversation. The broken metaphor and bad logic of motive10 which had stirred his hearer’s contempt were quite consistent with a mode of putting the facts which made it difficult for Lydgate to vent46 his own indignation and disappointment. After some rapid reflection, he only asked—
“What did Mrs. Casaubon say?”
“That was the further statement which I wished to make to you,” said Bulstrode, who had thoroughly prepared his ministerial explanation. “She is, you are aware, a woman of most munificent66disposition67, and happily in possession—not I presume of great wealth, but of funds which she can well spare. She has informed me that though she has destined68 the chief part of those funds to another purpose, she is willing to consider whether she cannot fully take my place in relation to the Hospital. But she wishes for ample time to mature her thoughts on the subject, and I have told her that there is no need for haste—that, in fact, my own plans are not yet absolute.”
Lydgate was ready to say, “If Mrs. Casaubon would take your place, there would be gain, instead of loss.” But there was still a weight on his mind which arrested this cheerful candor69. He replied, “I suppose, then, that I may enter into the subject with Mrs. Casaubon.”
“Precisely70; that is what she expressly desires. Her decision, she says, will much depend on what you can tell her. But not at present: she is, I believe, just setting out on a journey. I have her letter here,” said Mr. Bulstrode, drawing it out, and reading from it. “‘I am immediately otherwise engaged,’ she says. ‘I am going into Yorkshire with Sir James and Lady Chettam; and the conclusions I come to about some land which I am to see there may affect my power of contributing to the Hospital.’ Thus, Mr. Lydgate, there is no haste necessary in this matter; but I wished to apprise71 you beforehand of what may possibly occur.”
Mr. Bulstrode returned the letter to his side-pocket, and changed his attitude as if his business were closed. Lydgate, whose renewed hope about the Hospital only made him more conscious of the facts which poisoned his hope, felt that his effort after help, if made at all, must be made now and vigorously.
“I am much obliged to you for giving me full notice,” he said, with a firm intention in his tone, yet with an interruptedness in his delivery which showed that he spoke72unwillingly73. “The highest object to me is my profession, and I had identified the Hospital with the best use I can at present make of my profession. But the best use is not always the same with monetary74 success. Everything which has made the Hospital unpopular has helped with other causes—I think they are all connected with my professional zeal—to make me unpopular as a practitioner75. I get chiefly patients who can’t pay me. I should like them best, if I had nobody to pay on my own side.” Lydgate waited a little, but Bulstrode only bowed, looking at him fixedly76, and he went on with the same interrupted enunciation—as if he were biting an objectional leek77.
“I have slipped into money difficulties which I can see no way out of, unless some one who trusts me and my future will advance me a sum without other security. I had very little fortune left when I came here. I have no prospects78 of money from my own family. My expenses, in consequence79 of my marriage, have been very much greater than I had expected. The result at this moment is that it would take a thousand pounds to clear me. I mean, to free me from the risk of having all my goods sold in security of my largest debt—as well as to pay my other debts—and leave anything to keep us a little beforehand with our small income. I find that it is out of the question that my wife’s father should make such an advance. That is why I mention my position to—to the only other man who may be held to have some personal connection with my prosperity or ruin.”
Lydgate hated to hear himself. But he had spoken now, and had spoken with unmistakable directness. Mr. Bulstrode replied without haste, but also without hesitation.
“I am grieved, though, I confess, not surprised by this information, Mr. Lydgate. For my own part, I regretted your alliance with my brother-in-law’s family, which has always been of prodigal80 habits, and which has already been much indebted to me for sustainment in its present position. My advice to you, Mr. Lydgate, would be, that instead of involving yourself in further obligations, and continuing a doubtful struggle, you should simply become a bankrupt.”
“That would not improve my prospect,” said Lydgate, rising and speaking bitterly, “even if it were a more agreeable thing in itself.”
“It is always a trial,” said Mr. Bulstrode; “but trial, my dear sir, is our portion here, and is a needed corrective. I recommend you to weigh the advice I have given.”
“Thank you,” said Lydgate, not quite knowing what he said. “I have occupied you too long. Good-day.”
单词标签: clamorous humble supple envoy philistine inevitable solely intercourse contemptible motive motives contradictory proffering inevitably applied purely indirectly dependence humiliation languor deferred acting repugnance circuitous puerile relinquishment worthy justified procurable lodging plunged accomplishment incompatibility lodgings hesitation habitual insanity consultation thoroughly susceptible cholera besiege evade allusion preoccupied vent metaphor logic cleansing relaxation decided contemplate withdrawal benevolent impatience subsist wont plausible pointed amalgamation irony diligently submission renounce exasperating munificent disposition destined candor precisely apprise spoke unwillingly monetary practitioner fixedly leek prospects consequence prodigal
点击收听单词发音
adj.吵闹的，喧哗的
参考例句：
adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；vt.降低，贬低
参考例句：
adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺
参考例句：
n.使节，使者，代表，公使
参考例句：
5philistine [ˈfɪlɪstaɪn] 第12级
n.庸俗的人；adj.市侩的，庸俗的
参考例句：
6inevitable [ɪnˈevɪtəbl] 第7级
adj.不可避免的，必然发生的
参考例句：
adv.仅仅，唯一地
参考例句：
8intercourse [ˈɪntəkɔ:s] 第7级
n.性交；交流，交往，交际
参考例句：
9contemptible [kənˈtemptəbl] 第11级
adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的
参考例句：
n.动机，目的；adv.发动的，运动的
参考例句：
n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 )
参考例句：
12contradictory [ˌkɒntrəˈdɪktəri] 第8级
adj.反驳的，反对的，抗辩的；n.正反对，矛盾对立
参考例句：
13proffering [ˈprɔfərɪŋ] 第11级
v.提供，贡献，提出( proffer的现在分词 )
参考例句：
14inevitably [ɪnˈevɪtəbli] 第7级
adv.不可避免地；必然发生地
参考例句：
adj.应用的；v.应用，适用
参考例句：
adv.纯粹地，完全地
参考例句：
17indirectly [ˌɪndɪ'rektlɪ] 第8级
adv.间接地，不直接了当地
参考例句：
18dependence [dɪˈpendəns] 第8级
n.依靠，依赖；信任，信赖；隶属
参考例句：
19humiliation [hju:ˌmɪlɪ'eɪʃn] 第7级
n.羞辱
参考例句：
n.无精力，倦怠
参考例句：
adj.延期的，缓召的v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的过去式和过去分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从
参考例句：
n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的
参考例句：
23repugnance [rɪˈpʌgnəns] 第11级
n.嫌恶
参考例句：
24circuitous [səˈkju:ɪtəs] 第9级
adj.迂回的路的，迂曲的，绕行的
参考例句：
adj.幼稚的，儿童的
参考例句：
26relinquishment [ri'liŋkwiʃmənt] 第8级
n.放弃；撤回；停止
参考例句：
adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的
参考例句：
a.正当的，有理的
参考例句：
29procurable [prə'kjʊərəbl] 第9级
adj.可得到的，得手的
参考例句：
n.寄宿，住所；(大学生的)校外宿舍
参考例句：
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降
参考例句：
32accomplishment [əˈkʌmplɪʃmənt] 第8级
n.完成，成就，（pl.）造诣，技能
参考例句：
33incompatibility ['inkəmˌpætə'biliti] 第7级
n.不兼容
参考例句：
n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍
参考例句：
35hesitation [ˌhezɪ'teɪʃn] 第7级
n.犹豫，踌躇
参考例句：
adj.习惯性的；通常的，惯常的
参考例句：
n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐
参考例句：
38consultation [ˌkɒnslˈteɪʃn] 第9级
n.咨询；商量；商议；会议
参考例句：
39thoroughly [ˈθʌrəli] 第8级
adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地
参考例句：
40susceptible [səˈseptəbl] 第7级
adj.过敏的，敏感的；易动感情的，易受感动的
参考例句：
n.霍乱
参考例句：
vt.包围，围攻，拥在...周围
参考例句：
vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避
参考例句：
n.暗示，间接提示
参考例句：
45preoccupied [priˈɒkjupaɪd] 第10级
adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式)
参考例句：
n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄
参考例句：
n.隐喻，暗喻
参考例句：
n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性
参考例句：
n. 净化(垃圾) adj. 清洁用的 动词cleanse的现在分词
参考例句：
50relaxation [ˌri:lækˈseɪʃn] 第7级
n.松弛，放松；休息；消遣；娱乐
参考例句：
adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的
参考例句：
52contemplate [ˈkɒntəmpleɪt] 第7级
vt.盘算，计议；周密考虑；注视，凝视
参考例句：
53withdrawal [wɪðˈdrɔ:əl] 第7级
n.取回，提款；撤退，撤军；收回，撤销
参考例句：
54benevolent [bəˈnevələnt] 第9级
adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的
参考例句：
55impatience [ɪm'peɪʃns] 第8级
n.不耐烦，急躁
参考例句：
vi.生存，存在，供养
参考例句：
adj.习惯于；vi.习惯；vt.使习惯于；n.习惯
参考例句：
adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的
参考例句：
adj.尖的，直截了当的
参考例句：
60amalgamation [əˌmælɡə'meɪʃn] 第11级
n.合并，重组；；汞齐化
参考例句：
n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄
参考例句：
62diligently ['dilidʒəntli] 第7级
ad.industriously;carefully
参考例句：
63submission [səbˈmɪʃn] 第9级
n.服从，投降；温顺，谦虚；提出
参考例句：
vt.放弃；拒绝承认，宣布与…断绝关系；vi.放弃权利；垫牌
参考例句：
65exasperating [ɪgˈzæspəreɪtɪŋ] 第8级
adj. 激怒的 动词exasperate的现在分词形式
参考例句：
66munificent [mju:ˈnɪfɪsnt] 第10级
adj.慷慨的，大方的
参考例句：
67disposition [ˌdɪspəˈzɪʃn] 第7级
n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署
参考例句：
adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的
参考例句：
n.坦白，率真
参考例句：
adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地
参考例句：
vt.通知，告知
参考例句：
n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说
参考例句：
73unwillingly [ʌn'wiliŋli] 第7级
adv.不情愿地
参考例句：
adj.货币的，钱的；通货的；金融的；财政的
参考例句：
75practitioner [prækˈtɪʃənə(r)] 第7级
n.实践者，从事者；(医生或律师等)开业者
参考例句：
adv.固定地；不屈地，坚定不移地
参考例句：
n.韭葱
参考例句：
n.希望，前途(恒为复数)
参考例句：
79consequence [ˈkɒnsɪkwəns] 第8级
n.结果，后果；推理，推断；重要性
参考例句：
adj.浪费的，挥霍的，放荡的
参考例句：