Passage 1
Intheolddays,childrenwerefamiliarwithbirthanddeathaspartoflife. ThisisperhapsthefirstgenerationofAmericanyoungsterswhohaveneverbeenclosebyduringthebirthofababyandhaveneverexperiencedthedeathofafamilymember.
Nowadayswhenpeoplegrowold, weoftensendthemtonursinghomes. Whentheygetsick，wetransferthemtoahospital, wherechildrenareforbiddentovisitterminallyillpatientsevenwhenthosepatientsaretheirparents. Thisdeprivesthedyingpatientofsignificantfamilymembersduringthelastfewdaysofhislifeanditdeprivesthechildrenofanexperienceofdeath, whichisanimportantlearningexperience.
SomeofmycolleaguesandIonceinterviewedandfollowedapproximately 500 terminallyillpatientsinordertofindoutwhattheycouldteachusandhowwecouldbeofmorebenefit,notjusttothembuttothemembersoftheirfamiliesaswell. Weweremostimpressedbythefactthateventhosepatientswhowerenottoldoftheirseriousillnesswerequiteawareofitspotentialoutcome.
Itisimportantforfamilymembers, anddoctorsandnursestounderstandthesepatientscommunicationsinordertotrulyunderstandtheirneeds，fears，andfantasies . Mostofourpatientswelcomedanotherhumanbeingwithwhomtheycouldtalkopenly, honestly，andfranklyabouttheirtrouble. Manyofthemsharedwithustheirtremendousneedtobeinformed, tobekeptup-to-dateontheirmedicalcondition，andtobetoldwhentheendwasnear. Wefoundoutthatpatientswhohadbeendealtwithopenlyandfranklywerebetterabletocopewiththeapproachofdeathandfinallytoreachatruestageofacceptancepriortodeath.
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