Sometimestheseasofyourrelationshipgetchoppy. Achievehappinessinyourmarriagethroughthefaithinthestrengthofthetwohearts,whosometimesforgetthegiftthey'vebeengiven.

YouWillNeed

Attention

Newoutlook

Soundfinances

Honesty

Silence

Steps

STEP1 Payattention

PaymoreattentiontoyourpartnerthanyoudotoyourhobbiesortheTV. Marriageisnotapart-timejob-- youcan'tachievehappinessinyourmarriageuntilyou'representandparticipating.

STEP2 Changetheoutlook

Changethewaybothofyouactandexperiencethemarriageinsteadofalwaystryingtorecapturesomefleetingmemoryofyourearlyrelationship, usingthesameoldineffectivemethods.

STEP3 Bethere

Givecredencetoyourspouse'sjudgment, tastes, interests, andopinions, sotheyknowtheymatterandhaveworth. Betheirstrongestsupporter, buddy, fan, andsoulmate.

STEP4 Managefinances

Manageyourfinancialsecurity. Facedebtandmoneyproblemstogetherbycreatingaplanthatwillhelpyougetyourfinancialsituationundercontrl. Relationshipsarehardenoughtosustainwithoutthefrictionmonthlybillscanintroduce.

STEP5 Takeahardlook

Whenyouencounterhardships, realizethatmarriageisn'talwayseasy. Trynottobeatyourselfuporblameyourpartner.Predictabilitycanbemonotonous. Don'tresisttheideathatmarriagesareupanddown, andarethereforealwaysinterestingworksinprogress.

STEP6 Shutup

Speakuptosolveproblems, butlimitbickeringbynotpickingafighteverytimeyourpartnerdoessomethingyoudon'tlike. Silence, ortakingafewmomentstothinkbeforeyouspeak, canhelpyouavoidunnecessaryconflict. Fixwhatyoucanchange-- whichismostoftenyourownbehavior.

STEP7 Pursueyourownthings

Allowyourselfandyourspousespacetopursueyourowninterests. Couplesdon'tneedtobejoinedatthehip. Observingthatabsencemakestheheartgrowfondermayaddsomeyearstothemarriage.

UniversityofChicagoresearchersfoundthatthehealthofmarriedpeoplewhobecamesingleagainthroughcircumstanceorchoicedeclined,precipitating20 percentmorechronichealthissues.