MyFather'sMusic
我父亲的音乐
WayneKalyn
韦恩·卡林
IrememberthedayDadfirstluggedtheheavyaccordionupourfrontstoop,taxinghissmallframe. Hegatheredmymotherandmeinthelivingroomandopenedthecaseasifitwereatreasurechest. "Hereitis,"hesaid. "Onceyoulearntoplay, it'llstaywithyouforlife."
我还记得那天，爸爸豁出瘦小的身躯，第一次把那沉甸甸的手风琴拖上我们家的门廊。他把妈姆和我召到客厅，打开箱子，好像那是个百宝箱似的.“给，”。他说，“你一学会拉它，它就跟你终身做伴。”
Ifmythinsmiledidn'tmatchhisfull-fledgedgrin, itwasbecauseIhadprayedforaguitarorapiano. Itwas 1960, andIwasgluedtomyAMradio,listeningtoDelShannonandChubbyChecker. Accordionswerenowhereinmyhitparade. AsIlookedattheshinywhitekeysandcream-coloredbellows, Icouldalreadyhearmyfriends'squeezeboxjokes.
我淡淡一笑，满不像他那么喜笑颜开，可那是因为裁一直巴望着有一把吉他，或一架钢琴。当时是1960年，我迷上了在调幅广播里收听戴尔·香农和查比·切克的音乐。手风琴在我的流行曲目里根本排不上号。看着那白晃晃的琴键和奶油色的风箱，我都可以听到伙伴们嘲弄这玩意儿的声音。
Forthenexttwoweeks, theaccordionwasstoredinthehallcloset. ThenoneeveningDadannouncedthatIwouldstartlessonsthefollowingweek. IndisbeliefIshotmyeyestowardMomforsupport. ThefirmsetofherjawtoldmeIwasoutofluck.
后来的两个礼拜，手风琴一直搁在门厅的壁橱里。有天晚上，爸爸宣布，’下周起我就开始上手风琴课。狐疑中我直向母亲递眼色，求她帮忙。可她紧闭着嘴，就是说我这次倒了霉了。
Spending $300 foranaccordionand $5 perlessonwasoutofcharacterformyfather. Hewaspracticalalways-somethinghelearnedgrowinguponaPennsylvaniafarm. Clothes, heatandsometimesevenfoodwerescarce.
花300元买架手风琴，每上一课还得交五元，这可不合我父亲的性格。他向来都很讲究实际——这是他自小在宾夕法尼亚州的农场学来的。当时穿的，取暖的，有时候连吃的都很少。
BeforeIwasborn, heandmymothermovedintoherparents'two-storyhomeinJerseyCity, N.J. Igrewupthereonthesecondfloor; mygrandparentsliveddownstairs. EachweekdayDadmadethethree-hourcommutetoandfromLongIsland, wherehewasasupervisorinacompartythatservicedjetengines. Weekends, hetinkeredinthecellar, turningscrapsofplywoodintoautilitycabinetorfixingabrokentoywithspareparts. Quietandshy, hewasnevermorecomfortablethanwhenathisworkbench.
我出生前，父母搬进了新泽西州泽西城外公外婆家一楼一底的房子。我就是在那儿的楼上长大的，外公他们住楼下。爸爸每天去长岛上班来回要坐三个小时的车。他在那儿的一家飞机发动机维修公司做监督，周末他就在地窖里东修西补，不是把零星的胶合板拼凑成多用柜，就是找些个零部件修理破玩具。他生性沉静腼腆，只有坐在工作凳上时他才最为自在。
OnlymusiccarriedDadawayfromhisworldoftoolsandprojects. OnaSundaydrive, heturnedtheradioonimmediately. Atredlights, I'dnoticehisfoottappingintime. Heseemedtohangoneverynote.
只有音乐可以使爸爸陶醉，忘却他那个近视工具和活计的天地。星期天只要一开车，他便打开收音机。遇见红灯，就见他的脚及时地轻轻打起拍子。他好像不放过每一个音符。
Still, Iwasn'tpreparedwhen, rummaginginacloset, Ifoundacasethatlookedtomelikeatinyguitar's. Openingit, Isawthepolishedglowofabeautiffilviolin. "It'syourfather's," Momsaid. "Hisparentsboughtitforhim. Iguesshegottoobusyonthefarmtoeverlearntoplayit." ItriedtoimagineDad'sroughhandsonthisdelicateinstrument-andcouldn't. .
然而，我还是没有料到，又一次翻一个壁橱，竟发现一只盒子，我看像个小吉他盒。打开一看，却是把漂亮的小提琴，光滑锃亮的。“那是你父亲的，”妈妈说，“他父母给他买的。怕是农场上太忙了吧，他压根儿就没顾上学。”我尽量想象爸爸那双粗手在摆弄这把精巧的小提琴——可就是想象不出来。
Shortlyafter, mylessonsbeganwithMr. ZelliattheAllegroAccordionSchooltuckedbetweenanoldmovietheaterandapizzaparlor. Onmyfirstday, withstrapsstrainingmyshoulder, Ifeltclumsyineveryway. "Howdidhedo?" myfatheraskedwhenitwasover. "Fineforthefirstlesson,"saidMr.ZeUi. Dadglowedwithhope.
不久，我在手风琴速成学校跟泽里先生上起课来了，那个学校夹在一家旧电影院和一家馅饼店之间。第一天，我肩上勒紧了两条皮带，怎么都觉得别扭。“他怎么样？”过后父亲问老师。“第一课嘛，还可以。”泽里先生说。爸爸看有希望，神采奕奕。
Iwasorderedtopracticehalfanhoureveryday, andeverydayItriedtogetoutofit. Myfutureseemedtobeoutsideplayingball, notinthehousemasteringsongsIwouldsoonforget, butmyparentshoundedmetopractice.
按规定我每天的练半小时的琴，而我每天都没法躲过去。我看我的前途是在户外打球，不是呆在屋里练很快就会遗忘的曲子，可父母逼着我练。
Gradually, tomysurprise, Iwasabletostringnotestogetherandcoordinatemyhandstoplaysimplesongs. Often, aftersupper, myfatherwouldrequestatuneortwo. Ashesatinhiseasychair, Iwouldfumblethrough "LadyofSpain" and "BeerBarrelPolka."
想不到我渐渐可以把各个音符串起来，两手配合着拉起简单的歌曲了。晚饭后，父亲常常要我拉上一两段曲子。他坐在安乐椅里，我就笨手笨脚地拉完《西班牙女郎》和《啤酒桶波尔卡》
"Verynice, betterthanlastweek," he'dsay. ThenIwouldsegueintoamed-leyofhisfavorites, "RedRiverValley" and "HomeontheRange," andhewoulddriftofftosleep, thenewspaperfoldedonhislap. Itookitasacomplimentthathecouldrelaxunderthespellofmyplaying.
“很好，比上星期强。”他会说。于是我一口气拉下去，把他最喜欢的歌曲《红河谷》和《家在牧场》混在一起，于是他不知不觉地睡去，报纸还摊在膝上。他能在我的演奏感召之下，也轻松一下算是对我的赞赏吧。
OneJulyeveningIwasgivinganalmostflawlessrenditionof "ComeBacktoSorrento,"andmyparentscalledmetoanopenwindow. Anelderlyneighbor, rarelyseenoutsideherhouse, wasleaningagainstourcarhummingdreamilytothetune. WhenIfinished, shesmiledbroadlyandcalledout, "IrememberthatsongasachildinItaly. Beautiful, justbeautiful."
有年七月的一天傍晚，我正在拉《重归苏连托》，几乎是无懈可击，父母把我叫到一扇窗口。一个上了年纪的邻居，很少见她出门，这时正依在我家车旁，恍恍惚惚地跟着曲子哼着。我拉完了，她笑眯眯地喊道：“我小时候在意大利就记得这首歌。好听，真好听。”
Throughoutthesummer, Mr. Zelli'slessonsgrewmoredifficult. Ittookmeaweekandahalftomasterthemnow. AllthewhileIcouldhearmybuddiesoutsideplayingheatedgamesofstickball. I'dalsohearanoccasionaltaunt: "Hey, where'syourmonkeyandcup?
整个夏天，泽里先生的课越上越难。现在要花一个半星期才能学会。我一边学琴一边可以听到伙伴们在外面玩棍球玩得好热闹，不时还听到句把损人的话：“喂！你那猴儿罐儿呢？”
Suchhumiliationpaled, though, besidetheimpendingfallrecital, Iwouldhavetoplayasoloonalocalmovietheater'sstage. Iwantedtoskipthewholething. EmotionsboiledoverinthecaroneSundayafternoon.
不过，眼看秋季演奏会就要到来，这么糟践人也就不算个事了。强得耷本地一家电影院上台独奏。我想赖掉这差事。个星期天下午在车上，我们都动了感情，都发火了。
"Idon'twanttoplayasolo," Isaid.
我不想独奏。”我说。
"Youhaveto," repliedmyfather.
你就得独奏。”父亲答道。
"Why?" Ishouted. "Becauseyoudidn'tgettoplayyourviolinwhenyouwereakid? WhyshouldIhavetoplaythisstupidinstrumentwhenyouneverhadtoplayyours7"Dadpulledthecaroverandpointedatme.
“为啥？”我吼道，“就因为你小时候没能拉成小提琴？你不拉就行我干吗就非得拉这笨乎乎的玩意儿？爸爸刹住车，面对着我。
"Becauseyoucanbringpeoplejoy. Youcantouchtheirhearts. That'sagiftIwon'tletyouthrowaway." Headdedsoftly, "Somedayyou'llhavechanceIneverhad: you'llplaybeautifulmusicforyourfamily. Andyouunderstandwhyyou'veworkedsohard."
“就因为你可以给别人带来欢乐。你可以打动他们的心。，那是给人的一份礼物，我不许你白扔了。”他又轻声说，“总有一天你会有我从来没有的机会：你会给你的妻子儿女演奏美丽动听的音乐。那时候你就会明白你干吗要这么苦练了。”
Iwasspeechless. IhadrarelyheardDadspeakwithsuchfeelingaboutanything, muchlesstheaccordion. Fromthenon, Ipracticedwithoutparents'makingme.
我无言以对。我很少听到父亲说话这么动情，更何况是说的手风琴。从此我练琴不用父母逼了。
TheeveningoftheconcertMomworeglitteryearringsandmoremakeupthanIcouldremember. Dadgotoutofworkearly, putonasuitandtie, andslickeddownhishairwithVitalis. Theywereanhourearly, sowesatinthelivingroomchattingnervously. Igottheunspokenmessagethatplayingthisonesongwasadreamcometrueforthem.
音乐会那天晚上，妈妈戴上亮晶晶的耳环，脸上没见她这么打扮过。爸爸早早就下了班，扎上领带，一身套装，头发用发油梳得溜光。他们提前一小时就打扮完了，我们便坐在客厅里紧张地聊天。这时我得到一个无言的启示：演奏这么一首歌是实现他俩的一个梦想。
AtthetheaternervousnessovertookmeasIrealizedhowmuchIwantedtomakemyparentsproud. Finally, itwasmyturn. Iwalkedtothelonechaironstageandperformed "AreYouLonesomeTonight?" withoutamistake. Theapplausespilledout, withafewhandsstillclappingafterothershadstopped. Iwaslightheaded, gladmyordealwasover.
在电影院，我意识到我是真想使父母感到自豪时，简直紧张死了。终于轮到我上场了。我走向台上孤零零的椅子，演奏了《今晚你可寂寞？》没出一点儿错。一时掌声四起，落下后还有几个人在拍手。我高兴得轻飘飘的，总算熬到头了。
AftertheconcertMomandDadcamebackstage. Thewaytheywalked—headshigh, facesflushed—Iknewtheywerepleased. Mymothergavemeabighug. Dadslippedanarmaroundmeandheldmeclose. "Youwerejustgreat," hesaid. Thenheshookmyhandandwasslowtoletitgo.
音乐会散后妈妈和爸爸来到后台。瞧他们走路那神气——昂首挺胸，红光满面，我就知道他们很高兴。母亲紧紧拥抱了我。爸爸伸过一只胳臂搂住我不放。“你真是好样儿的！”他说，然后又握住我的手，久久不松开。
Astheyearswentby, theaccordiondriftedtothebackgroundofmylife. Dadaskedmetoplayatfamilyoccasions, butthelessonsstopped. WhenIwenttocollege, theaccordionstayedbehindinthehallclosetnexttomyfather'sviolin.
随着岁月的流逝，那架手风琴在我的生活中也渐渐隐退了。爸爸只要我在家有节庆的时候拉一拉，课是不上了。我上大学，那琴就放在门厅的壁橱里，挨着父亲的小提琴。
Ayearaftermygraduation, myparentsmovedtoahouseinanearbytown. Dad, at 51, finallyownedhisownhome. Onmovingday, Ididn'thavethehearttotellhimhecoulddisposeoftheaccordion, soIbroughtittomyownhomeandputitintheattic.
我毕业一年后，父母搬到了附近一个镇上。父亲在51岁终于有了自己的房子。搬家那天，我不忍心告诉他可以把手风琴卖了，于是我把它拿回我自己的家，放在阁楼上。
Thereitremained, adustymemoryuntiloneafternoonseveralyearslaterwhenmytwochildrendiscovereditbyaccident. Scottthoughtitwassecrettreasure; Hollythoughtaghostlivedinside. Theywerebothright.
它就呆在那儿，一件灰尘扑扑的纪念物，直到好几年后的一天下午，我的两个孩子偶然发现了它。司各特以为是个秘藏的珍宝，荷里以为里头住了个精灵。他俩都讲对了。
WhenIopenedthecase, theylaughedandsaid, "playit, playit." Reluctantly,Istrappedontheaccordionandplayedsomesimplesongs. Iwassurprised! myskillshadn'trustedaway. Soonthekidsweredancingincirclesandgiggluig. Evenmywife, Terri, waslaughingandclappingtothebeat. Iwasamazedattheirunbridledglee.
我一打开箱子，他们就笑了，说道：“拉拉，拉拉嘛。”我勉强套上琴的背带，拉了一些简单的歌曲。没想到我的琴法竟然没有荒疏。很。陕孩子们就转着圈子跳呀笑个不停。连我妻子特丽也乐呵呵地和着节奏拍起手来。他们那兴高采烈的痛快劲儿真让我吃惊。
Myfather'swordscamebacktome: "Somedayyou'llhavethechanceIneverhad. Thenyou'IIunderstand."Ifinallyknewwhatitmeanttoworkhardandsacrificeforothers. Dadhadbeenrightallalong: themostpreciousgiftistotouchtheheartsofthoseyoulove.
这时，父亲的话又回到我的脑海：“总有一天你会有我从来没有的机会。那时你就会明白的。” 我终于明白了为他人努力工作和做出牺牲的意义。爸爸始终是对的：打动你所爱的人的心才是最宝贵的礼物。
LaterIphonedDadtolethimknowthat, atlonglast, Iunderstood. Fumblingfortherightwords, Ithankedhimforthelegacyittookalmost 30 yearstodiscover. "You'rewelcome," hesaid, hisvoicechokedwithemotion.
事后我打电话给爸爸，告诉他我终于明白过来了。我拙嘴笨舌地不知说什么好，只说我花了差不多30年的工夫才发现了他留给我的这笔财富，为此我感谢他。“不客气。”他说，嗓音因激动而哽咽了。
Dadneverlearnedtocoaxsweetsoundsfromhisviolin. Yethewaswrongtothinkhewouldneverforhisfamily. Onthatwonderfulevening, asmywifeandchildrenlaughedanddanced, theyheardmyaccordion. Butitwasmyfather'smusic.
爸爸从未学会从他那小提琴上拨出甜美的声音。但他以为他永远都不会为他的家人演奏乐曲，那是他错了。就在那个美妙的夜晚，我的妻儿又笑又跳，听着我拉手风琴。可那是我父亲的音乐。