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Vanessasarmsnolongershowthedamagesheoncedidtothem. Thatssayingsomething, giventhatthedamagewasconsiderable. Thecollegefreshman, 19, startedwithjustafewscratchesfromasharppieceofplastic. Latercametherazorbladesandthenthekitchenknives. Afteratime, shetooktowearingbraceletstocoverherinjuries; whenthatwasntenough, shebegancuttinglessconspicuouspartsofherbody. Iwasverycreative, shesays, withasmile.
Vanessaneedntbesocleveranymore. Inthepast 18 months, shehascutherselfonlyonce. Shewaspleasedandsurprisedtofindthatshedidntenjoyitabit.
Formostpeople--andespeciallymostparents--theideathatanyonewouldtoleratethestingofarazorbladeorthecutofaknife, muchlessenjoyit, isunthinkable. Butmaybetheyarejustnotpayingattention. Vanessaisnotamemberofsomeremotefringeoftheemotionallydisabledbutpartofagrowingpopulationofboysandgirlsforwhomcutting, burningorotherwiseself-injuringisbecomingacommon--ifmystifying--wayofmanagingemotionalpain.
Nobodyknowshowmanycuttersareatlarge, butpsychologistshavebeenconductingsurveysandgatheringdatafromclinics, hospitalsandprivatepractices, andtheyareshockedbywhattheyarefinding. AccordingtoonestudyintheJournalofAbnormalPsychology, from 14% to 39% ofadolescentsengageinself-mutilativebehavior. Thatrangeissuspiciouslybroad, andotherestimateshaveputthefigureatjust 6% orbelow. Butwithmorethan 70 millionAmericankidsoutthere, thatsstillanawfullotofroutine--andsecret--self-mutilation. Everycliniciansaysitsincreasing, reportspsychologistMichaelHollander, adirectoratTwoBrattleCenterinCambridge, Mass., anoutpatientclinicthattreatscutters. Ivebeenpracticingfor 30 years, andIthinkitsgoneupdramatically.
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