Fewrelationshipquestionsareaspolarizingaswhetherornotyoushouldstayfriendswithanex. Anecdotalevidencefeedsargumentsonbothsides — butwhatdotheexpertssay?
是否应该与前任保持友谊?对这一两性关系问题的答案非常罕见地两极分化,传闻轶事更激化了双方的争论,那专家怎么看待这一问题呢?
RachelSussman, aNewYorkCity-basedpsychotherapist, advisescautionwhenitcomestostayingfriends, butsaystherearecouplesforwhomitworks; ultimately, shesays, it's "anindividualdetermination". Nonetheless, Sussmansaystherearesomeguidelinesallexesshouldfollowafterabreakup.
纽约心理治疗师雷切尔·萨斯曼建议,应谨慎对待与前任保持友谊这一问题, 不过,对于一些情侣或夫妇来说,与前任保持友谊不成问题。归根到底,这只是“个人选择”。不过,在处理与前任关系的问题上,萨斯曼给出了以下几点准则。
Whentocutties?
"Undernocircumstancesshouldarelationshipthatwasabusive, manipulativeortoxictransitionintoafriendship",Sussmansays.
“在任何情况下,一段充满虐待和控制的‘有毒’感情绝不应转变成友谊,”萨斯曼说。
Sussmanalsosaystherearepotentialdownsidestostayingfriendswithanex. "Sometimesthatwillholdyoubackfromgoingintoanewrelationship," shewarns. "Oryou'llgetintoanewrelationshipandyou'lltellyournewgirlfriendorboyfriend, 'Myexisoneofmyclosestfriends.' That'scomplicated. Areyougivingthenewrelationshipafairchancetoreallyflourishorblossom?"
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