Cyber Step-Mother
i've often felt that "step-parent" is a label we attach to men and women who marry into families where children already exist, for the simple reason that we need to call them something. it is most certainly an enormous "step", but one doesn't often feel as if the term "parent" truly applies. at least that's how i used to feel about being a step-mother to my husband's four children.my husband and i had been together for six years, and with him i had watched as his young children became young teenagers. although they lived primarily with their mother, they spent a lot of time with us as well. over the years, we all learned to adjust, to become more comfortable with each other, and to adapt to our new family arrangement. we enjoyed vacations together, ate family meals, worked on homework, played baseball, rented videos. however, i continued to feel somewhat like an outsider, infringing1 upon foreign territory. there was a definite boundary line that could not be crossed, an inner family circle which excluded me. since i had no children of my own, my experience of parenting was limited to my husband's four, and often i lamented2 that i would never know the special bond that exists between a parent and a child.
when the children moved to a town five hours away, my husband was understandably devastated3. in order to maintain regular communication with the kids, we contacted cyberspace4 and promptly5 set up an e-mail and chat-line service. this technology, combined with the telephone, would enable us to reach them on a daily basis by sending frequent notes and messages, and even chatting together when we were all on-line.
ironically, these modern tools of communication can also be tools of alienation6, making us feel so out of touch, so much more in need of real human contact. if a computer message came addressed to "dad", i'd feel forgotten and neglected. if my name appeared along with his, it would brighten my day and make me feel like i was part of their family unit after all. yet always there was some distance to be crossed, not just over the telephone wires.
late one evening, as my husband snoozed in front of the television and i was catching7 up on my e-mail, an "instant message" appeared on the screen. it was margo, my oldest step-daughter, also up late and sitting in front of her computer five hours away. as we had done in the past, we sent several messages back and forth8, exchanging the latest news. when we would "chat" like that, she wouldn't necessarily know if it was me or her dad on the other end of the keyboard--that is unless she asked. that night she didn't ask and i didn't identify myself either. after hearing the latest volleyball scores, the details about an upcoming dance at her school, and a history project that was in the works, i commented that it was late and i should get to sleep. her return message read, "okay, talk to you later! love you!"
as i read this message, a wave of sadness ran through me and i realized that she must have thought she was writing to her father the whole time. she and i would never have openly exchanged such words of affection. feeling guilty for not clarifying, yet not wanting to embarrass her, i simply responded, "love you too! have a good sleep!"
i thought again of their family circle, that self-contained, private space where i was an intruder. i felt again the sharp ache of emptiness and otherness. then, just as my fingers reached for the keys, just as i was about to return the screen to black, margo's final message appeared. it read, "tell dad good night for me too." with tear-filled, blurry9 eyes, i turned the machine off.
相关推荐
-
此情不枉成追忆1、我们可以不美丽,但我们健康,我们可以不伟大,但我们庄严,我们可以不成功,但我们努力,我们可以不聪明,但我们勤学;2、微笑是一曲动人的音乐,微笑是一首优美的诗歌,微笑是一双温暖的援手;3、心灵是一方广袤的天空...
-
漫步梅园电瓶充电器的风扇不转了不能用了,电瓶器风扇不转不散热会烧坏充电器。需要检查一下能否修复,不能修复就换风扇或充电器。热风扇不转故障原困主要是控制风扇的三极管损坏或者风扇本身损坏或风叶被杂物卡住。电瓶充电器一般采用...
-
气可鼓不可泄1、室内外机铜管连接细节:如何将室内外铜管连接起来呢,先将连接了室内机的铜管线穿过空调孔伸到墙外。在穿孔的时候,弯曲铜管的时候要小心保护,同时铜管堵头不要取下,避免穿墙时灰尘落入;连接室外机的时候,拧开铜管截止...
-
凌鼎圣风做法:1、将面粉拌松,加入适量的温水大约40摄氏度一下,用手反复糅合成柔软、均匀面团。2、将面团盖蒸笼布放置1个半到2个小时,可用手按下去,若面团富有弹性即可。3、将面团擀成片后,加入包子馅,包成形。4、使用蒸...
-
花开无声刚买回的牛肉保存方法:1、刚买回的牛肉用浸过醋的湿布包起来,可保鲜一昼夜不变质。2、把调好的芥末面和牛肉放在一个盘子里,然后将肉放在一个密封的容器里,可存整日,肉不变质。3、将牛肉放入高压锅内,上火蒸至排气孔冒...
精选推荐更多>
-
放肆年代已经过了光耀门楣,汉语词汇,拼音是guāng yào mén méi,意思是做出了让家门荣耀的事情。出自清代文康《儿女英雄传》:“但是那块匾上的‘名镇江湖’四个字,只好留作个光耀门楣的用处,镌在碑上却不合款。”用法:联合式;作谓语、宾语;含褒义;形容使家族荣耀。近义词:光宗耀祖、荣宗耀祖、显祖荣宗。反义词:奇耻大辱、丧权辱国、卑躬屈膝。例句:1、他对儿子抱着光耀门楣的殷厚期望,他可不希望自己的宝贝儿子真的得了抑郁症。2、如今大汉内外交困,壮士为什么不投军出仕,为自己谋条出路,以光耀门楣、名扬天下呢?
-
闲来雅叙《皇帝的新装》选自人教版七年级上册的第六单元,是丹麦童话大师安徒生的代表作之一。这篇童话通过一个愚蠢的皇帝被两个骗子愚弄,穿上了一件看不见的——实际上根本不存在的新装举行游行大典的丑剧,深刻地揭露了皇帝昏庸及大小官吏虚伪、奸诈、愚蠢的丑恶本质。褒扬了无私无畏、敢于揭假的天真烂漫的童心。极度的夸张是借助于作者丰富的想象力完成的。两个骗子所设下的骗局,想象就非常奇特。骗子就怕戳穿他们的骗局,而这两个骗子对皇帝的心思和臣民的心理都琢磨透了,他俩的骗局非常露骨,而且非常毒辣。他们不是搞伪劣产品,而是根本就没有织布,根本就没有衣服。他们有一种“钳口术”,谁要说一句真话,说看不见衣服,就借用专制的皇权,说你“不称职或者愚蠢得不可救药”。于是,大臣随员为了保护自己只得说假话,皇帝为了自己的“尊严”也要说假话,高贵的骑士们、街上和窗口里的老百姓、成百上千的人都在异口同声、自欺欺人地称赞皇帝的“新装”,这是一个强烈的讽刺。
-
海蓝无魂“月”是独体字,所以它的偏旁是月。“月”最早见于商代甲骨文,其本义是地球的天然卫星,即月亮。古人根据月亮的盈亏规律创造了“月”这个计时单位,沿用至今。也指形状像月亮的东西、按月出现或完成等义。“月”的出处:1、《诗经・小雅・天保》:“如月之恒,如日之升。”2、《归园田居》:“晨兴理荒秽,带月荷锄归。”3、《淮南子・天文训》:“水气之精者为月。”“月”造句:1、妈妈用上个月的盈余给我买了一件漂亮衣服。2、随着卫星升空,奔月的神话变成了现实。3、前些年,他带领大家戴月披星地开山造田,如今他又和群众一起种草植树,想在家里找到他,难啊!4、小刘学习很用功,日就月将,进步很快。
-
水清云淡中国古代历史人物有孔子、秦始皇、孟子、苏轼、李白等等。1、孔子:子姓,孔氏,名丘,字仲尼,鲁国陬邑(今山东省曲阜市)人,祖籍宋国栗邑,中国古代伟大的思想家、政治家、教育家,儒家学派创始人、“大成至圣先师”。2、秦始皇:嬴姓,赵氏,名政(一说名“正”),又称赵政、祖龙,也有吕政一说。秦庄襄王和赵姬之子。中国古代杰出的政治家、战略家、改革家,首次完成中国大一统的政治人物,也是中国第一个称皇帝的君主。3、孟子:名轲,字子舆,邹国(今山东邹城东南)人。战国时期哲学家、思想家、教育家,是孔子之后、荀子之前的儒家学派的代表人物,与孔子并称“孔孟”。4、苏轼:字子瞻,一字和仲,号铁冠道人、东坡居士,世称苏东坡、苏仙、坡仙,汉族,眉州眉山(今四川省眉山市)人,祖籍河北栾城,北宋文学家、书法家、美食家、画家,历史治水名人。5、李白:字太白,号青莲居士,又号“谪仙人”,唐代伟大的浪漫主义诗人,被后人誉为“诗仙”,与杜甫并称为“李杜”,为了与另两位诗人李商隐与杜牧即“小李杜”区别,杜甫与李白又合称“大李杜”。